She Is Everywhere In The Sky
© Surazeus
2018 07 23
Every three years I leave my life behind
and reinvent my whole self somewhere else
to erase the painful memory of how
she was killed crossing the street by the car
that raced through the red light of my despair.
Behind the sunless shadows of each tree
I see her glowing face smile out at me
and I almost think she is still alive
but the world falls away in Autumn leaves
scattered in the fragments of my numb heart.
Since the hour of light blazing through the trees
when we first met on the shore of the lake
we grew together like giggling birch trees,
dancing as we drank wine in blue twilight
which still illuminates her broken face.
Whenever I sank down in melancholy
from twisting numbers in accounting books
she played sweet haunting melody of hope
that screeched wild lust from taut strings of my heart
to wake forgotten dreams of ancient times.
We lived together in our magic kingdom
of moon-haunted romance in that strange world
now vanished at the shattering of her soul
yet still forgotten songs conjured by hands
of her elegance wash sea waves of love.
I drown in the waves of love I still feel
when I stand alone in the twilight zone
on the shore of the lake where we first met
as if I hope she will return from death
to haunt me with the laughter of her eyes.
I thought we would always journey together
the long and winding road of sweet romance
but time has wrenched me far beyond that day
when she vanished at the blunt force of greed
and pushed me alone to the edge of trust.
Where shall I wander through the empty world
without the sunlight of her beating heart
because every woman I meet transforms
from living flesh of love into her mask,
so I turn away at the twist of grief.
Now I am scattered into countless selves
all wandering far from the core of my soul,
dispersed as leaves by wild indifferent wind
to seek authentic role where I could play
my true self who vanished at her stark death.
I see the thousand faces I discard
each day I try to relive my lost self
flickering frail as candles in sea-wild wind
that pushes me down to the boundless sea
where I hear her voice in slow swirling waves.
Almost every day while sitting alone,
accounting balance of deficit cost
to calculate the return on investment,
I feel her ghost behind me, real as flesh,
so I turn and smile at nothing in light.
No matter how many times I escape
the glass house of her memory I wake
sitting with her emptiness on the couch
in every new house far across the land
because she is everywhere in the sky.
© Surazeus
2018 07 23
Every three years I leave my life behind
and reinvent my whole self somewhere else
to erase the painful memory of how
she was killed crossing the street by the car
that raced through the red light of my despair.
Behind the sunless shadows of each tree
I see her glowing face smile out at me
and I almost think she is still alive
but the world falls away in Autumn leaves
scattered in the fragments of my numb heart.
Since the hour of light blazing through the trees
when we first met on the shore of the lake
we grew together like giggling birch trees,
dancing as we drank wine in blue twilight
which still illuminates her broken face.
Whenever I sank down in melancholy
from twisting numbers in accounting books
she played sweet haunting melody of hope
that screeched wild lust from taut strings of my heart
to wake forgotten dreams of ancient times.
We lived together in our magic kingdom
of moon-haunted romance in that strange world
now vanished at the shattering of her soul
yet still forgotten songs conjured by hands
of her elegance wash sea waves of love.
I drown in the waves of love I still feel
when I stand alone in the twilight zone
on the shore of the lake where we first met
as if I hope she will return from death
to haunt me with the laughter of her eyes.
I thought we would always journey together
the long and winding road of sweet romance
but time has wrenched me far beyond that day
when she vanished at the blunt force of greed
and pushed me alone to the edge of trust.
Where shall I wander through the empty world
without the sunlight of her beating heart
because every woman I meet transforms
from living flesh of love into her mask,
so I turn away at the twist of grief.
Now I am scattered into countless selves
all wandering far from the core of my soul,
dispersed as leaves by wild indifferent wind
to seek authentic role where I could play
my true self who vanished at her stark death.
I see the thousand faces I discard
each day I try to relive my lost self
flickering frail as candles in sea-wild wind
that pushes me down to the boundless sea
where I hear her voice in slow swirling waves.
Almost every day while sitting alone,
accounting balance of deficit cost
to calculate the return on investment,
I feel her ghost behind me, real as flesh,
so I turn and smile at nothing in light.
No matter how many times I escape
the glass house of her memory I wake
sitting with her emptiness on the couch
in every new house far across the land
because she is everywhere in the sky.
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