Room By The Silent Sea
© Surazeus
2018 07 04
These are not the truths you are looking for
so follow your heart to the end of time
and sit on the hill where no one has been
to become the name the land never knows.
Alone in the room by the silent sea
I see nothing in light I cannot feel
since all I ever thought was real and true
I throw away in the mask I once wore.
You see me on the bench outside the store
but when you try to ask me my real name
I talk to myself with secret I lost
so you leave me alone in never rain.
Whatever I say to myself each day
is no more true than the way the wind laughs
because each word they never say to me
stabs my heart which bleeds the fireworks display.
Behind the tree that knows my secret name
I hide to hear what the shadow might say
when sunlight dances on the river flow
to steal each strange word I was going to say.
I rehearse in my head the role I play
so when each strange face appears to my eyes
my horror reflects back from wordless skies
and I am not who you think I might be.
The playful agony of loneliness
pervades the air I breathe so thoroughly
I smile because Death always visits me
every day in the park where I am not.
He never sees me at his window stand,
the professor of history in brown suit
who sits alone in his study all day
surrounded by the ghosts of famous people.
I see how he talks to them like his friends
so I want to be his long-suffering wife
because no one else in the world sees me
except for him who never looks at me.
I thought I was not real like I once was
because I faded when my mother died
and sleep in his shed where he never goes
and eat apples that grow on his last tree.
For the first time in many years I see
my own face reflected in window glass
because he built in the tool shed for me
the soft bed with the blanket and the pillow.
The strange ground feels solid under the willow
and the air laughs when it kisses my face
since I am both the sunlight and the shadow
forever nameless in the nowhere place.
I never saw his eyes look straight at me
but now I feel real because he must see
the hollow shell of the name that I lost
because he leaves food in the shed for me.
The whole world swirls so I fall in myself
because he walks toward me in the dawn mist
and when he smiles and looks me in the eyes
I remember his eyes in seventh grade.
"Sweet Gertrude, you must come live in my house,
for I have loved you since the seventh grade
and I remember when your mother died,
so come in and sit where the fire is warm."
After I take a warm bath in his tub,
I wear the pink wool robe of his dead wife,
and sit in her chair by the crackling fire
while he gives me potato soup and tea.
"I see the dead you talk to every day,
because I am one of your nameless ghosts,
but I would haunt you if I live with you
so I will disappear in the sad wind."
How strange to see the inside of the window
where I watched him read books for many years
and though I tell myself that I will leave
I know that he wants me to stay forever.
"Sweet Gertrude, I was so in love with you,
but then you disappeared into the wind,
so now that I find you returned from mist
I open my heart and my home for you."
"Gentle Samuel, I wandered lost in pain
so long I even forgot my real name,
but now you wake me from my dream of sorrow,
so I will stay with you through each tomorrow."
How strange it feels to be so real again
each morning I wake in bed at his side,
and when he kisses my mouth and my eyes
my heart breathes in the beat of wind and rain.
What were those visions flashing in my mind,
I ponder, sipping coffee while he eats,
all wrapped in paper and stored in the night,
each time he smiles at me in morning light.
He goes to college to teach history,
so I sew new clothes for the orphanage
where I read stories to the little children
and help cook meals for their breakfast and supper.
Each evening we sit by the crackling fire
and sip tea while he reads stories to me
written by his ancient historians,
then he kisses me while we hug in bed.
Two souls in the room by the silent sea,
we see everything in light we inhale
since all I ever thought was real and true
I reveal in the mask I wear again.
These are the real truths I am looking for
so we follow our hearts forward through time
and sit on the hill where we laugh and kiss
to become the name the land blooms in flowers.
© Surazeus
2018 07 04
These are not the truths you are looking for
so follow your heart to the end of time
and sit on the hill where no one has been
to become the name the land never knows.
Alone in the room by the silent sea
I see nothing in light I cannot feel
since all I ever thought was real and true
I throw away in the mask I once wore.
You see me on the bench outside the store
but when you try to ask me my real name
I talk to myself with secret I lost
so you leave me alone in never rain.
Whatever I say to myself each day
is no more true than the way the wind laughs
because each word they never say to me
stabs my heart which bleeds the fireworks display.
Behind the tree that knows my secret name
I hide to hear what the shadow might say
when sunlight dances on the river flow
to steal each strange word I was going to say.
I rehearse in my head the role I play
so when each strange face appears to my eyes
my horror reflects back from wordless skies
and I am not who you think I might be.
The playful agony of loneliness
pervades the air I breathe so thoroughly
I smile because Death always visits me
every day in the park where I am not.
He never sees me at his window stand,
the professor of history in brown suit
who sits alone in his study all day
surrounded by the ghosts of famous people.
I see how he talks to them like his friends
so I want to be his long-suffering wife
because no one else in the world sees me
except for him who never looks at me.
I thought I was not real like I once was
because I faded when my mother died
and sleep in his shed where he never goes
and eat apples that grow on his last tree.
For the first time in many years I see
my own face reflected in window glass
because he built in the tool shed for me
the soft bed with the blanket and the pillow.
The strange ground feels solid under the willow
and the air laughs when it kisses my face
since I am both the sunlight and the shadow
forever nameless in the nowhere place.
I never saw his eyes look straight at me
but now I feel real because he must see
the hollow shell of the name that I lost
because he leaves food in the shed for me.
The whole world swirls so I fall in myself
because he walks toward me in the dawn mist
and when he smiles and looks me in the eyes
I remember his eyes in seventh grade.
"Sweet Gertrude, you must come live in my house,
for I have loved you since the seventh grade
and I remember when your mother died,
so come in and sit where the fire is warm."
After I take a warm bath in his tub,
I wear the pink wool robe of his dead wife,
and sit in her chair by the crackling fire
while he gives me potato soup and tea.
"I see the dead you talk to every day,
because I am one of your nameless ghosts,
but I would haunt you if I live with you
so I will disappear in the sad wind."
How strange to see the inside of the window
where I watched him read books for many years
and though I tell myself that I will leave
I know that he wants me to stay forever.
"Sweet Gertrude, I was so in love with you,
but then you disappeared into the wind,
so now that I find you returned from mist
I open my heart and my home for you."
"Gentle Samuel, I wandered lost in pain
so long I even forgot my real name,
but now you wake me from my dream of sorrow,
so I will stay with you through each tomorrow."
How strange it feels to be so real again
each morning I wake in bed at his side,
and when he kisses my mouth and my eyes
my heart breathes in the beat of wind and rain.
What were those visions flashing in my mind,
I ponder, sipping coffee while he eats,
all wrapped in paper and stored in the night,
each time he smiles at me in morning light.
He goes to college to teach history,
so I sew new clothes for the orphanage
where I read stories to the little children
and help cook meals for their breakfast and supper.
Each evening we sit by the crackling fire
and sip tea while he reads stories to me
written by his ancient historians,
then he kisses me while we hug in bed.
Two souls in the room by the silent sea,
we see everything in light we inhale
since all I ever thought was real and true
I reveal in the mask I wear again.
These are the real truths I am looking for
so we follow our hearts forward through time
and sit on the hill where we laugh and kiss
to become the name the land blooms in flowers.
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