Joyful Play Of Suicide

Joyful Play Of Suicide
© Surazeus
2018 06 08

I become so miserable and depressed
thinking about meaninglessness of life
that joy springs bursting from my compressed heart
and frees me from blinding chains of despair.

The horror of disease, suffering, and death
that humans endure for thousands of years
crushed my heart under weight of misery,
compacting my soul in tight ball of rage.

When I think about countless human beings
who died from famine, diseases, and wars,
I feel enormous mountain crush my heart
with sorrow at loss of those nameless people.

The black coal of my heart compressed by horror
transforms into diamond of gleaming light
for sorrow generates passion of love
through empathy for fellow conscious souls.

When I stare long into empty abyss
of my heart at horror of our existence
sweet light of love beams outward from my heart
compacted into diamond of compassion.

Deep inside infinite darkness of death
pure light of love glitters through web of souls
that spirals into galaxies of worlds
which teem with creatures aching with desire.

I find no reason why we are alive
yet here we are, conscious creatures of flesh
congealed from flashing atoms of desire,
awake with dreams of how we want to play.

I design reason for why I will live,
chanting rivers of words that flash with visions
depicting people searching for the truth
on honest passion beaming from our eyes.

I design clothes as costumes we shall wear
to play our role on stage of history
when we approach the person we desire
for making love to generate new life.

I explore many countries of our world,
meeting strangers on streets of every town,
and listening to weird stories of their lives,
then recording their names in Book of Life.

I prepare meals of food from recipes
to brew magic potions of love composed
of potent ingredients that spark sweet pleasure
which fuels compassion of our hungry hearts.

We gather together in twilight zone,
sitting in communal temple of song
to feast in fellowship with family
and watch plays showing quest for truth and love.

The only question of philosophy
worth asking as I learn to know myself
is how shall I perform the task of living
and how shall I die when I want to go.

The chemical process of hungry life
cycles through seasons of growth and decay
so we engender children from desire
and teach them how to write their own life script.

I savor every day I wake from dream
and taste sweet pleasures of chemical potions
to cure harsh suffering from pain of existence,
performing my own role on stage of life.

When pain destroys every pleasure of life
and I can no longer control the functions
of this wretched body I must inhabit
then I will embrace nothingness of death.

The fascist who attempts to control nature
and extend span of their life beyond death
by snatching material from hungry greed
stumbles lost in the labyrinth of despair.

The wise soul who surfs changing waves of nature
and flows with the process of life and death
by sharing material with hungry people
dances joyful in the labyrinth of love.

I journeyed long on winding road of life,
exploring far beyond safe walls of Heaven,
to savor sunlight on apples and lakes,
so now I lie down by the singing river.

Here I will close my eyes and dream no more
for I will sink into vast sea of nothing
and atoms of my body will disperse
to become everything else in the world.