Male Gaze Of Judgment
© Surazeus
2018 04 01
I cannot stand how he gazes at me,
assigning the gender and racial roles
society wields as weapons of judgment
to control my actions with expectations
that I should behave according to script
of their normative ideals that restrict
freedom of my will to live as I want.
Though I cannot escape binary mode
of biological gender, constructed
by genetic code that manipulates
how atoms design this chemical body,
I must inhabit to maintain the glow
of consciousness that constitutes my soul,
I can play role of my true natural self
that I design to counter social rules.
Though my body is defined as female,
since I produce eggs that, if fertilized,
would generate a body for a new human,
I refuse to perform according to script
written by men who demand I obey
conventional rules of what constitutes
female behavior of successful life
through reproduction of children men sire.
This is my body so I will control
if and when I bear children of my genes,
and I will choose the person who will share
responsibility to raise that human.
I will not play that sweet feminine role
men demand if I wish to marry well,
for I would explore nature of the Earth
and travel far beyond enclosing walls
of this safe world I know, my fathers built
to protect me from harm, to understand
physical laws that govern spinning globe.
My body may be female, but my soul
expresses every chemical emotion
my brain conjures through dream analysis
to investigate memories of ancestors,
and script new performance of my lithe body
to play whatever act on stage of life
that will ensure survival of my person
so I may savor every pungent pleasure
this generous world provides for me to taste
before death swallows me into the void.
I want to enjoy life before I die.
Each person alive on this spinning globe
is one small fragile flame of consciousness,
like each sun is a fragile flame that glows
clear in enormous storm of crushing darkness,
so we must play the role we want to play
in this short time our bodies will exist.
Thus I will not play that feminine role
you assigned to me before I was born,
that would aid you to exploit my body
for your own personal pleasure and gain,
instead performing spirit of my brain
that seeks to explore nature of this world
in whatever profession makes me happy.
I will live for my gain and not for yours.
My body may be gendered as female
but I express rich fluid human soul.
Though he judges me with strict gender roles,
by gazing at me with lusting desire,
I will perform free social character
that best expresses spirit of my heart,
and thus I defy the male gaze of judgment.
© Surazeus
2018 04 01
I cannot stand how he gazes at me,
assigning the gender and racial roles
society wields as weapons of judgment
to control my actions with expectations
that I should behave according to script
of their normative ideals that restrict
freedom of my will to live as I want.
Though I cannot escape binary mode
of biological gender, constructed
by genetic code that manipulates
how atoms design this chemical body,
I must inhabit to maintain the glow
of consciousness that constitutes my soul,
I can play role of my true natural self
that I design to counter social rules.
Though my body is defined as female,
since I produce eggs that, if fertilized,
would generate a body for a new human,
I refuse to perform according to script
written by men who demand I obey
conventional rules of what constitutes
female behavior of successful life
through reproduction of children men sire.
This is my body so I will control
if and when I bear children of my genes,
and I will choose the person who will share
responsibility to raise that human.
I will not play that sweet feminine role
men demand if I wish to marry well,
for I would explore nature of the Earth
and travel far beyond enclosing walls
of this safe world I know, my fathers built
to protect me from harm, to understand
physical laws that govern spinning globe.
My body may be female, but my soul
expresses every chemical emotion
my brain conjures through dream analysis
to investigate memories of ancestors,
and script new performance of my lithe body
to play whatever act on stage of life
that will ensure survival of my person
so I may savor every pungent pleasure
this generous world provides for me to taste
before death swallows me into the void.
I want to enjoy life before I die.
Each person alive on this spinning globe
is one small fragile flame of consciousness,
like each sun is a fragile flame that glows
clear in enormous storm of crushing darkness,
so we must play the role we want to play
in this short time our bodies will exist.
Thus I will not play that feminine role
you assigned to me before I was born,
that would aid you to exploit my body
for your own personal pleasure and gain,
instead performing spirit of my brain
that seeks to explore nature of this world
in whatever profession makes me happy.
I will live for my gain and not for yours.
My body may be gendered as female
but I express rich fluid human soul.
Though he judges me with strict gender roles,
by gazing at me with lusting desire,
I will perform free social character
that best expresses spirit of my heart,
and thus I defy the male gaze of judgment.
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