Globs Of Unconscious Energy

Globs Of Unconscious Energy
© Surazeus
2018 12 05

We often share strange secrets of our hearts
disguised as general platitudes that cast
light of truth on things we try to ignore.

While I am walking down the college hall
to my office after last class is done,
I sense spine-chilling fear in the stale air,
so I turn around and see in dim light
face of my literature professor who died
twenty years before, twisted from dark pain,
and then I hear the shrill terrifying scream
of an airplane passing too low overhead.

I jump to escape blind paralysis
of terror at sharp jolt of my frail heart,
then run to the window down the long hall
just in time to see jumbo jet explode
as it crashes burning in neighborhood
of houses where students and faculty
at the university live in quaint homes.

Enormous fire ball billows red flames
of horrible death when exploding plane
shatters bodies of people into fragments,
so I feel terrible pain of despair
when thousands of people with pulsing brains
inside both plane and houses burn to ash.

Though some people believe that conscious God
created unique bodies we inhabit
and will recreate our bodies from dust,
yet I suspect humans are nothing more
than frail globs of unconscious energy.

Snapping awake from strange hallucination,
I stare at glowing window down the hall,
then walk to see eerie orange glow of light
is caused by rays from street lamps that refract
brighter through snowflakes now shrouding the world
in peaceful silence of the timeless night.

What platitudes in ancient books of wisdom
can I recall that would clearly express
sense of horror at irrational fear
that planes passing overhead would not crash
into houses where families celebrate
winter holidays with presents and gifts?

Should I be grateful for this gift of life,
and wonder if everything that ever happens
is will of God, even suffering from pain
caused by diseases or cruel violence,
confused at paradox that loving God
allows harsh suffering and death to occur?

This platitude that all is Will of God
hides horror of existential despair
that all this suffering and death which occurs
means nothing more than we are globs of dust
that wake in fragile consciousness of self
for this short time of strange experience
before our bodies dissolve to components
that nature uses to make other things.

Particles of energy that compose
pulsing bodies of plants and animals
are the immortal building blocks of nature,
but each individual creature with a brain
is unique in all the history of life.

If conscious creator that people call God
permeates particles of the universe,
then energy of action in each atom
would be controlled by divine consciousness,
so whatever occurs is Will of God.

But if no consciousness permeates all,
then atoms act according to their nature
of mindless flashing through vastness of space
to congregate in stars that nurture planets
where organic creatures rise from warm seas
and develop ability to think
by observing the nature of all things
and devising laws to explain their actions
encoded in poetic myths of gods.

We are globs of unconscious energy
combining in this frail body of flesh
long enough to generate conscious mind
who dreams the history of the universe
and navigates its way through maze of matter
to replicate its gene code in new body
who develops new unique conscious mind.