Staring At My Face

Staring At My Face
© Surazeus
2024 10 01

If I try to bring my heart back to life, 
screaming butterflies will gather its shards 
so I can prove to the ghost of the rock 
that I am not as real as the sea wind 
who wants to carry me back to the cove 
where the moon first gave me my secret name. 

Too scattered in the field of laughing weeds 
to remember where I wanted to go, 
I watch the ancient oak tree try to grow 
angel wings so I can fly from the beast 
who lurks in shadows of my mangled heart 
when I hide in glow of the spider web. 

Kneeling in dark deserted gray-stone kirk, 
I twiddle knobs on the black radio 
in vain attempt to tune vibe of my brain 
so I can hear voices of angels sing 
dire news about planes dropping bombs of hate 
blasting the cow barn where the old king hums. 

Since every road that leads to paradise 
is stained with blood of homeless refugees 
who flee the knight with the mind-blowing gun, 
I sit on wet grass by the hungry sea 
and think about the nine-million-year war 
fought between the spiders and the insects. 

Staring at my face in the ice-blue mere, 
I try to understand the reason why 
my heart beats with god-like power of fear 
when I fight the gang of thieves in the woods 
to keep the sacred scroll they cannot read, 
because it records magic code I need. 

If I find my way out of this dream maze, 
composed of memories my ancestors lost 
when running frantically along the beach, 
I might invent the goal I want to reach 
in desperate attempt to assess the cost 
I have to pay to transcend the next phase. 

Strange beauty of words the wise woman sings 
enchants my heart with vision of the truth 
that narrates story of my random life 
defining where I fit in game of fate 
where she decides I am the man who builds 
strong shelter in safe haven for the homeless. 

So I sit with Narcissus by the pool 
as he paints Echo and Ophelia 
dressed as fairies in long flowing gowns, 
and me strumming the lyre of Mercury 
which I found in the Mountains of the Moon 
when Icarus healed me with mushroom wine.