Hurricane-Spawning Machine

Hurricane-Spawning Machine
© Surazeus
2024 10 08

When Midas tries to steal the Crown of Thorns 
and turn Cross of Salvation into gold 
to crown himself King of America, 
I go down to my secret mountain lair 
and with flippant flip of the switch turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Burning billions of tons of fossil fuels 
with sprawling factories that make new things 
and chugging cars on global web of roads 
heats up the swirling ocean with desire, 
causing freakish storms, because I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Guzzling bleach with thirst of the vampire king, 
Superman soars into storm-crackling clouds 
and battles Iblis for the Holy Land, 
who rides Shai-Hulud while surfing sand dunes, 
to control oil wells, each time I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Riding his fierce Tyrannosaurus Rex, 
he named Widow-Maker for his sweet bride, 
Pecos Bill gallops on the Texas plains 
to chase El Chupacabra back to Hell, 
wrecking banks and churches, though I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Dressed in white gown of soul virginity, 
the weeping woman La Llorona haunts 
rubble of bomb-blasted streets at midnight, 
calling names of our children killed by missiles 
when Pluto sends me message to turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Wielding Excalibur of Righteousness, 
Jesus fights Satan on Golgotha Hill 
to play High Priest in Temple of Weird Truth 
and translate arcane riddling prophecies 
from skull of Orpheus, so I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Just as the traitor Midas grabs the key 
to Heaven from palsied hand of Saint Peter, 
Minerva knocks him off Eye Pyramid 
to save people of Earth from tyranny, 
so I sneer at mankind as I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine. 

Lounging in my temple on Mount Olympus, 
observing humans on their little globe 
who scurry back and forth in maze of myths 
in wars over whose view of me is real, 
I get bored of their pride, so I turn on 
my secret hurricane-spawning machine.