Understand Why I Cry

Understand Why I Cry
© Surazeus
2024 09 16

If sweet story of my sorrow extends 
way past wind-blasted beach of jagged rocks, 
I might be able to measure how vast 
seethes the salt green sea of sensitive faith 
inside this clumsy body of my soul 
that lounges with insipid lust on sand. 

Yet stone cherub, etched on sarcophagus 
of my eyeless mother, calls out my name 
in blasting wind that beats my aching breast 
with passionate love for the beautiful 
that shimmers chartreuse in the vibrant sky 
beaming strange wordless fears into my eyes. 

Though my angel is trapped in granite idol, 
who watches over graves of my ancestors, 
she points to somewhere over the horizon 
where I may find strange rainbow of my joy, 
but I choose to stay where the singing skulls 
of my mothers and fathers count the stars. 

Fierce anguish energizes my numb heart 
with passion to row heavy boat of fear 
across sloshing waves of indifferent hope 
toward far shore I try to conceptualize 
by blowing divine breath of bitter faith 
against gray veil of mist that shrouds my bones. 

Each time I enter domain of the snake, 
by climbing jagged rocks as stepping stones 
toward heights of Heaven glowing gold with light, 
I imagine I am weasel of grace 
gliding with stealth among old apple trees 
to fill basket of my heart with sweet lies. 

Because nothing ever changes in Heaven, 
I leave its sun-shattered shadows in haste 
to row my heavy boat back to my cottage 
where copper mirror on the mossy wall 
reflects strange apparition of my soul 
who knows dark secrets I hide in my heart. 

I invite ghosts of people I once loved 
to my damp cottage in the roadless woods 
where ravens chat about philosophy 
while leaving purple mushrooms at my door 
which I brew in cauldron as honey mead 
and drink till the blind moon becomes my mind. 

Hills become green giants who stare at me 
with eyes that bears desert after they die 
so I write story of my wicked life 
with blood of frogs on smooth slabs of tree bark 
so the ravens understand why I cry 
because I can just never explain why.