Lamentation Of Ophelia
© Surazeus
2018 05 20
How bright my eyes once glowed with love for life,
admiring beauty of the natural world,
how sun gleams bright to illuminate spirit
of joy that emanates from every creature
who populates this spinning ball of dirt,
expressed in flowers sprouting from cool rain.
Now anguish of despair tears at my heart
and sucks all light of beauty from this world
so sullen misery of horror at death
bleaches nature gray and stains my soul black,
lightless disgust swallowing light in gloom,
expressed in weeds cracking gray cement walks.
My mother, driving home from work one night,
was smashed against the brick wall of a building
by a drunk man who was racing too fast,
and she died screaming in horrible pain
as roaring flames devoured her tender soul,
and someone caught it all on video.
This wrenching agony of visceral pain
sears my body and brain with flames of rage
to hurt this man who killed my loving mother,
because his selfish disregard for rules
of decent behavior destroyed her life,
and how I wish to dissolve into nothing.
I want to melt away into this puddle,
that shimmers on the sidewalk after rain
indifferent to this agony I suffer,
so all my pain would dissolve to relief
of numb unconcern to embolize torture
that jolts my mind with horror at her death.
I once enjoyed the process of my life,
savoring sweetness of my daily routine,
but now sharp lethargy of aching horror
paralyzes my heart with rancid torpor
that renders me unable to extract
sufficient energy to play my role.
How stale and foolish now appear my actions
that I performed with cheerful stimulus
of avid eagerness for appetite
inspired by passion welling from my heart,
so now I want to hide inside my room
and never face again the hungry world.
This vast world devours our bodies and souls
in constant transformation of our forms
when atoms that constitute thinking minds
disintegrate at crushing blow of death
which strikes with sudden violence of force
to smash the fragile shell of hope we prop.
How strange to realize that our world view,
our minds generate from perceived concepts,
is nothing more than illusion of light
our brains create in model of the world
like map of intent we follow through action
which keeps us moving through this hostile world.
Now that the world view, I always believed
reflected accurately this changing world,
shatters at the blow of her violent death
I walk naked in the dark of this globe
through ever-shifting maze of truth and lies
so I must seek the truth of light or die.
Yet in the sucking darkness of despair
that pierces throbbing anguish of my heart
with ever pulsing beat of passionate lust
I find strange light, not outside in the world,
but deep inside the burning of my soul
for all this pain of suffering sparks weird glow.
Long staring in the abyss of my heart
I find new fountain of light bubbling clear
to fill the empty hollow of my soul
with serene contemplation of my death
for though I will die like my mother died
yet light of pain still flashes through my mind.
Though frail body of my mother was destroyed
in horrible accident of careless greed
yet she created my body and mind
from the loving passion of her bright hope,
so she lives still in body of my soul,
dreaming in the awareness of my heart.
To give her gentle soul eternal life
and reincarnate her again in flesh
I will generate new child from my womb
to concentrate the passion of her heart
in living person who will see this world
with the same eyes that she bequeathed to me.
Now that desire to rejuvenate soul
of my mother in grandchild of her genes
motivates my heart to seek out new life,
my eyes glow bright again with love for life,
and I perceive in the light of the sun
eternal love that illuminates joy.
This spirit of love in the human heart
though beaten by the brutal force of death
will sprout again and blossom from grim doom
for light will always glow from hostile friction
and flash rejuvenating light of love
to light our eyes with willful love for life.
© Surazeus
2018 05 20
How bright my eyes once glowed with love for life,
admiring beauty of the natural world,
how sun gleams bright to illuminate spirit
of joy that emanates from every creature
who populates this spinning ball of dirt,
expressed in flowers sprouting from cool rain.
Now anguish of despair tears at my heart
and sucks all light of beauty from this world
so sullen misery of horror at death
bleaches nature gray and stains my soul black,
lightless disgust swallowing light in gloom,
expressed in weeds cracking gray cement walks.
My mother, driving home from work one night,
was smashed against the brick wall of a building
by a drunk man who was racing too fast,
and she died screaming in horrible pain
as roaring flames devoured her tender soul,
and someone caught it all on video.
This wrenching agony of visceral pain
sears my body and brain with flames of rage
to hurt this man who killed my loving mother,
because his selfish disregard for rules
of decent behavior destroyed her life,
and how I wish to dissolve into nothing.
I want to melt away into this puddle,
that shimmers on the sidewalk after rain
indifferent to this agony I suffer,
so all my pain would dissolve to relief
of numb unconcern to embolize torture
that jolts my mind with horror at her death.
I once enjoyed the process of my life,
savoring sweetness of my daily routine,
but now sharp lethargy of aching horror
paralyzes my heart with rancid torpor
that renders me unable to extract
sufficient energy to play my role.
How stale and foolish now appear my actions
that I performed with cheerful stimulus
of avid eagerness for appetite
inspired by passion welling from my heart,
so now I want to hide inside my room
and never face again the hungry world.
This vast world devours our bodies and souls
in constant transformation of our forms
when atoms that constitute thinking minds
disintegrate at crushing blow of death
which strikes with sudden violence of force
to smash the fragile shell of hope we prop.
How strange to realize that our world view,
our minds generate from perceived concepts,
is nothing more than illusion of light
our brains create in model of the world
like map of intent we follow through action
which keeps us moving through this hostile world.
Now that the world view, I always believed
reflected accurately this changing world,
shatters at the blow of her violent death
I walk naked in the dark of this globe
through ever-shifting maze of truth and lies
so I must seek the truth of light or die.
Yet in the sucking darkness of despair
that pierces throbbing anguish of my heart
with ever pulsing beat of passionate lust
I find strange light, not outside in the world,
but deep inside the burning of my soul
for all this pain of suffering sparks weird glow.
Long staring in the abyss of my heart
I find new fountain of light bubbling clear
to fill the empty hollow of my soul
with serene contemplation of my death
for though I will die like my mother died
yet light of pain still flashes through my mind.
Though frail body of my mother was destroyed
in horrible accident of careless greed
yet she created my body and mind
from the loving passion of her bright hope,
so she lives still in body of my soul,
dreaming in the awareness of my heart.
To give her gentle soul eternal life
and reincarnate her again in flesh
I will generate new child from my womb
to concentrate the passion of her heart
in living person who will see this world
with the same eyes that she bequeathed to me.
Now that desire to rejuvenate soul
of my mother in grandchild of her genes
motivates my heart to seek out new life,
my eyes glow bright again with love for life,
and I perceive in the light of the sun
eternal love that illuminates joy.
This spirit of love in the human heart
though beaten by the brutal force of death
will sprout again and blossom from grim doom
for light will always glow from hostile friction
and flash rejuvenating light of love
to light our eyes with willful love for life.
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