Absence Of Your Soul

Absence Of Your Soul
© Surazeus
2023 08 25

I could not feel stark absence of your soul 
unless you had been present in my life, 
so real and messy in passionate play 
of physical vibrance, your beating heart 
flushing your soul awake with solar beams 
of fierce ambition to savor strange joy. 

I took for granted presence of our soul, 
expecting I perceive with casual eyes 
excessive spark of pulsing energy 
that you exude with confident despair 
through random performance of your desires, 
your fullness now emptiness I palpate. 

With visceral anguish of my twisted heart, 
that gapes with hollow hunger of shocked hope 
to sense your vibrant presence with my soul, 
I ache with unpalliatable desire 
to embrace material physique of you, 
yet you elude perception of my love. 

Your absence gapes with nothingness of hope, 
broad as abysmal void of faith we shared, 
so I feel crushing gravity of grief 
suck me numb into vacuum of your heart 
that drags me down through nihilistic lust 
to recreate your whole unstructured soul. 

Based on clear phantom image of your soul 
my brain attempts to conjure from thin air, 
I utter spell of hope, in riddle bound 
by passionate desire for you to live, 
that needs expression of ethereal breath 
for me to reassemble you from dream. 

Intense contention of my hopeless will 
seems almost to assemble from hard thoughts 
motionless idol of your mortal soul, 
but longing for your vital presence clangs 
bell of awareness your absence is real 
as glowing cloud that hovers over me. 

Extreme projection of my flashing brain 
almost composes you from words I pray, 
so clear as sunlight glowing on your face 
you stand before me with eyes full of love, 
but when I open arms to recognize 
your presence, your absence consumes my heart. 

I would express outrage at laws of Death 
that erase Beauty from this changing world, 
but I know shouting up at empty sky, 
or howling at unfairness of blind fate, 
would empty me of sorrow at your loss, 
so I must cherish absence of your soul.