Cold Woods Of Lost Hope

Cold Woods Of Lost Hope
© Surazeus
2019 02 07

I was walking through these dark soggy woods
after cold rain soaked my heart from despair,
but I have stood here, somewhere off the trail,
for so long I feel tree roots growing down
from my numb toes into muck of the world
till I think I have become the mute tree
that whispers nothing in wind, and drinks rain.

Now my human body is nothing more
than flicker of sunlight through latticed web
of tree branches, so when I try to move
I dissipate into gleam of light on water
of the pool that reflects from heart of darkness
this face I think might be me with strange eyes.

I am shadow of the coldness that drips
in sparkling globs of water from the sky,
the blank sky that stares silently at me,
as cold stillness of ceaseless flowing time
erases my name from odd memory.

I want to address you to express thoughts
of hope for our future of coupled hearts
traveling together on long road of life,
but ghost of your spirit that is not here
glows as image of you before my eyes,
so I feel like I am talking to you,
but you will never comprehend these words
that I breathe out, which would communicate
concepts of my feelings for you to hear
and comprehend how I want to be with
you forever close in glow of the light.

I seem to vanish in shadows of time,
and become memory of you I desire,
but I look down and see my shoes are soaked
wet from brown muck that squishes my foul heart
with anguish of hope to see you again.

All previous moments of my life converge
at this timeless hour in cold soggy woods
where I become vague single cloud of light
that almost feels sharp sting of freezing rain
which drizzles from the gray indifferent sky
to give my mind shape of this rancid body
that shivers with terrible ache of hunger,
so I become real again, startled why.

I see each random moment of my life
flash before my eyes on this flowing stream
in disjointed fragments of jolting cause
that channels my spirit around high hills
to this strange moment of awoke surprise,
as if I still float through space of this world
like some dead leaf blown by the careless wind
wherever blind chance of indifferent fate
decides to throw me into the cold world.

I see each moment when I saw your face
and how strong gaze of your clear sparkling eyes
enchanted my desire to stay with you
and follow you wherever you may go,
but now I see how you avoided me,
and slipped away into shadows of day
to disappear from memories of my hope.

Your charming smile lured me to follow you,
as I ache with hunger for you to fill
vacuum of my infinite soul with love,
so I can transform your soul into child
who dreams this world with your sky-sparkling eyes,
but you escape the scope of my desire,
which is why I wander in soggy woods,
stuck nowhere in shadows of mute despair.

How can I erase from my memories
alluring glitter of your charming eyes
so I can find again my own true path
and escape from this bog of horrid fears
when my body coagulates from light?

I cannot retreat to past memories
where desire for you sucks me into muck,
so I must push forward from shadowed fear
to follow flowing stream of my new hope
and blaze clear trail from tangled web of love
that will lead me back to haven of walls
where I can work in garden of my dreams.

I want to escape cold woods of lost hope
but since light of your eyes leads me nowhere
I must find new light of indifferent sky
to lead me home to my garden of dreams.