2017 03 15
Soft yellow sunlight of late winter gleams
on thin tree limbs outside half-open door.
The swift gushing river of sorrow teems
with aching regrets that haunt me no more.
I listen to traffic on black road hum
before leaves are ready to sprout in spring.
My children all leave before Kingdom Come
though I feel no more beat of angel wing.
The death of my wife strikes me to the core
so all our plans are nothing but lost dreams.
My heart once ached sweet but now it throbs numb
though I attend church to hear angels sing.
I stand on long white road heading nowhere,
feeling how oak trees really do not care.
I look in dark pond and see face of death
yet cry to bright sky to give back my breath.
I stand with her shadow on wild sea shore
and ask her again with rueful smile why.
Why live if I have nothing to hope for,
I ask bird with broken wing trying to fly.
I remember wisdom of ancient lore,
pondering how our truth becomes a lie.
My brain is a sponge that bloomed from a spore
and thinks the globe is its own private eye.
I stare down the snake while stealing his pear
and preserve my pain in new shibboleth.
I find queen of love alone on her chair
so she plays her harp while I take a bath.
Searching far for yellow sunlight on trees,
I walk through stone walls to the end of time.
Watching her gold curls blow in the soft breeze,
I express my love by playing her mime.
Sorrow gouges a hole deep in my heart
that fills with purer pleasure after rain.
Everything I own I haul on my cart,
walking signless road across ruined plain.
Great city of towers once glittered bright
till battle for power shattered its dome.
I wander aimless in soft winter light,
planting apple seeds wherever I roam.
Dictators always fall from blinding pride
but kill too many souls on their way down.
I stop by deep lake where lost souls abide
who dance without laws, ruled by the blind clown.
The young girl with gold curls in a white dress
takes my hand and leads me up the high hill.
She kisses my cheek and makes me confess
I love her in secret against my will.
I hold her in my arms where flowers bloom
and breathe fragrance of faith in her gold hair.
She tells me my death spells not global doom
so when flowers sprout I begin to care.
She takes my soul that gushes from my brain
and molds new angel with my dreaming eyes.
Though I am not real you are not insane
since God mirrors your soul from empty skies.
We lie together in pink and gold flowers
and paint Easter eggs while we kiss and sing.
She smiles down at me from ten thousand towers
yet I walk alone while college bells ring.
When she tells me her mother died last year
I want to hold her but she runs away.
Though empire falls we have nothing to fear
since no god exists who demands we pray.
Where can I go now when millions are dead
if no king anywhere now rules this Earth?
Nameless souls are all shadows in my head
each begging I make love to give them birth.
Soft yellow light pierces my aching soul,
causing new fruit trees to sprout from my brain.
Though I know I am part of Cosmic Whole
I stand alone, looking for her, in rain.