Spider-Watch Of My Soul

Spider-Watch Of My Soul
© Surazeus
2024 11 29

My anxiety is the spider-watch, 
constructed of gold wheels that regulate 
conceptual motion of the universe, 
which crawls across the unread holy book 
full of riddles and sacred prophecies, 
to unscrew ticking time bomb of my brain. 

Just beyond the limit of my eyesight, 
I sense gold shadow of the spider-watch 
transform into the person I love most 
who keeps their name secret from everyone, 
so I pretend they are walking away 
while I search for the most important book. 

Because it seems someone is judging me 
within framework of their ontology, 
I avoid attending social events 
where people wear the most beautiful masks 
designed to replicate the spider-watch 
that emerges from egg-sea of my brain. 

Embracing substance of the shadow mind 
that swells within confines of my flesh soul, 
I drive up and down the same road each day 
in routine controlled by the spider-watch 
whose eyes are sunrays in leaves of the trees 
who weep for the tragedy of my fate. 

Each night when I sleep in cage of my heart, 
I dream I follow the wild-haired cave girl 
in our daily hunt to kill leaping deer 
and roast its thick meat over crackling flames, 
but then I see her stacking returned books 
in the quiet library with slim hands. 

Dancing with delicate balance of hope, 
in rhythm with beat of the spider-watch, 
I glide through open doors in maze of masks 
with turbo-charged energy of desire, 
to maintain integrity of One Self 
scattered into angelic butterflies. 

Strict balance of all forces in between 
constrains excessive swirl of urgent hope 
in measured cadence of the spider-watch 
which dictates how far beyond bounds of fate 
I can leap before gravity entraps 
my soul in limits of my body frame. 

My soul is emanation from my brain 
in divine consciousness of who I Am 
as function of chemicals flashing thoughts 
through neural network of oneiric nodes 
woven by passion of the spider-watch 
so anxiety drives progress of faith.