Now when Donald saw the crowds
he rode down an escalator in his gold tower.
His christofascist dittoheads came to him,
and he began to teach them the Damnitudes.
Damned are the poor in spirit,
for they are the homeless losers,
failures at corporate business,
and lazy welfare queens
who refuse to get a job
while they live off welfare,
then birth their anchor babies here
to steal our opportunities and jobs.
Damned are those who mourn,
for they abort innocent babies
who could slave in our factories,
and oppose the death penalty
for rebels against our economic power.
Damned are the meek,
for they are constantly fleeced and gipped
by good preachers and honest bankers
who enslave them as uneducated laborers.
Damned are those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness,
for they make laws to protect
everyone not white or straight,
and refuse to let me build a huge wall
to keep all the evil immigrants out.
Damned are the merciful,
for they are bleeding-heart liberals
who coddle the poor with health care,
food stamps, and quality education,
and allow evil immigrants
to invade the walls of our heaven.
Damned are the pure in heart,
for they tax the rich capitalists
and provide benefits for the poor,
then get mad when I do not pay them
for the terrible work they did for me.
Damned are the peacemakers,
for they try to prevent our armies
from conquering foreign nations
so we can steal all their resources
and control the best trade routes.
Damned are those who are persecuted
for righteousness sake,
for they want to take away the tax-free status
of our churches while we get rich
off generous donations of the blind faithful.