2015 08 15
I see her dance slow on green misty lawn
and spread both arms wide as she twirls around,
head tilted as she closes eyes to feel
infinite universe beam from her mind.
I blink and she is gone from spinning time
because I read on the internet how
she drove alone to a clear mountain lake
and shot herself while sitting on a rock.
"What happened to you in the desert war?"
I whisper as birds tweet in apple trees.
She smiles brightly from the glowing phone screen.
Wherever I look at the empty sky
I see her face on white billowing clouds.
Why should I go to work or pay my bills?
Why should I go see movies or read books?
Why should I care now about anything
since she shot herself through her aching heart?
I close my eyes to feel infinite love
vanish into the black hole of despair.
Red butterfly flutters wings on my hair.
I feel my solid body dissipate
and waver like flickering flame of light
that smiles with meaningless joy on the lake
where our first ancestor began to sing.
I see her meditating on the rock
that floats alone in mindless outer space,
head tilted as she opens eyes to know
infinite universe flash into why.