Surrender To Absurdity

Surrender To Absurdity
© Surazeus
2025 03 30

While driving my car on the Nowhere Road, 
I feel dull ache of ennui in my heart, 
and then I know with ironic detachment 
I should have made peace with absurdity 
of human existence on this vast world 
before I began my trip to Wonderland. 

Parking my old car in the empty lot, 
I wander on shore of the frozen lake 
to contemplate fragile impermanence 
which characterizes beauty of Nature, 
till feeling of annoyance numbs my heart, 
so I grin with satisfaction at Death. 

Yet yellow butterfly with fragile wings 
flutters with delicate calm of respect 
among white petals on the long black bough, 
which makes me think about how energy 
springs to life again after hiemal death, 
blooming with beauty of peaceful hope. 

I savor oppressive cold of gray skies 
on fields frozen hard in bitter despair 
so long I come to find in misery 
grim comfort at harsh ugliness of death 
till I see beauty in rancid decay 
and treasure horror of the lifeless tree. 

Alone in stillness of the leafless woods 
where grayness saturates the mindless soil, 
I feel the sudden flash of evening light 
when the sun advancing across stern hills 
pierces my eyes with sheen of desire 
as trees explode in quiet poof of green. 

The golden path of silence glows awake 
in winding casualness of sly amusement 
among the mulberry bushes of fate, 
so I surrender to absurdity 
that beauty gleams within the rugged world 
with urgent innocence of honest fear. 

My hungry eyes consume beauty of Earth 
with aching ennui that something more 
beyond blank nothingness of death may lure 
my heart to believe our souls might live on, 
but sweet beauty of this horrible lie 
would trap me in despair at suffering. 

My conscious sense of self is radiant glow 
conjured by chemical functions of hope 
from flashing neurons of my dreaming brain, 
so I savor ennui of this vibrant hour 
because I know my animating soul 
will vanish from this strange world when I die.