Fish Eggs Of Insanity

Fish Eggs Of Insanity
© Surazeus
2025 10 10

When I eat fish eggs of insanity 
to understand soul of eternity, 
my heart swells huge as spinning globe of dreams 
that angels weave from conscious memories 
so I can open wings of honesty 
and soar above the endless maze of myths. 

When I was no more than seven years old, 
my father sold me for three bags of rice 
to grim woman of the courtesan house 
so now I smile at vile state ministers 
while strumming taut strings of my aching heart 
and sing love songs to earn my right to live. 

When I confront the humble town blacksmith 
for not sharpening my dagger enough 
to defend myself against drunken counts 
because I must pay my debt to live safe, 
he frees my heart and soul from servitude 
so the whole town attends our wedding feast. 

When we sign petition of grievances 
against cruel governor who steals our land 
and forces us to build large palaces, 
he tortures and whips the signers in rage, 
so my humble blacksmith husband guides us 
to fight against corrupt state ministers. 

When we ask for help from the government, 
the governor attacks our council hall 
and slaughters everyone with swords of greed, 
then binds my humble blacksmith husband high 
on punishment pole before palace gates 
where he bleeds to death in the bitter heat. 

When the king slanders his innocent name, 
declaring without honest evidence 
that he lead rebellion against the state, 
I weep before his arrow-riddled corpse 
while holding child I bore after his death 
and burn his suffering spirit in my heart. 

When I kneel before secret cavern pool 
to set his skull with reverence on the stone, 
hot tears I weep in dark water of fate 
transform into immortal fish of truth 
that lays scarlet eggs of insanity 
which sparkle bright as rubies in my heart. 

When I eat fish eggs of insanity 
to preserve suffering of my family, 
I wander mad in market villages 
asking everyone with eyes bleeding tears 
if they have seen my humble blacksmith husband 
for his soul lives again in our brave child.