One Leaf That Falls

One Leaf That Falls
© Surazeus
2024 12 12

I do not need anyone to understand 
secret passions I keep hid in my heart 
for I am who I am no matter what, 
hiding my angst behind mask I keep bland 
as shield deflecting greed of hungry creeps 
who want to possess my bodyless soul. 

I am no Bodhisattva of the heart, 
though I am always awakening more 
on path of enlightenment in the gloom 
where I sweep away bad thoughts with the broom 
till I become blind shadow of the door, 
done before I had any chance to start. 

Drunk with sweet sorrow of the laughing moon, 
I trample lilacs of conceptual joy 
that bloomed last in the doorway of despair, 
though I tell anyone I do not care 
about the frog that jumps in the still pond 
to shatter placid happiness of hope. 

I cannot meditate on nothingness 
to achieve pure state of arrogant bliss 
because my brain considers every fact 
as puzzle piece I must fit in world view 
to now unshatter mirror of my mind 
by binding hurricane of dreams with verse. 

Collecting fragments of weird sentences 
dead philosophers scratched in waste-land dust, 
I weave new tapestry of global truth 
that appears in eyes of everyone else 
as wild conspiracy of surreal jokes 
about the man whose sons reign as world kings. 

This old face of mine I see in the mirror 
resembles faces on statues of kings 
carved from stone on sprawling cathedral walls, 
and giant statues of old Roman gods 
that lounge in fountain pools of ancient towns, 
so I chuckle at jokes Fate plays on me. 

Relieved I am free to live my own life 
without weight of duty crowning my head, 
I leave kingdoms my ancestors designed 
as heap of stones from fallen walls of fear 
scattered as characters in fairy tales 
that record tragedy of their success. 

I am one leaf that falls in loneliness 
of stable oneliness inside my heart 
with lively laughter at joke of this life 
where I perform new god-role I invent 
against conventions of the global state 
to prove my genius is contrived by fate.