Every House I Leave

Every House I Leave
© Surazeus
2024 10 27

In sixty years of my life on this Earth 
I have lived in fifty houses, at least, 
so shimmering fragment of my time-stretched soul 
remains stuck in wall of each domicile 
so I feel myself spread across the land 
in quivering thread of fragile memory. 

With mixture of sadness and humor, taut 
with mute affection for each lonely house, 
I slouch benumbed against clean painted wall 
of where I now live, safe in turtle shell 
of sheltering hope, and whisper each address
to map my random journey anywhere. 

Faint shimmering shell of each house where I lived 
merges with all the rest in single frame 
of social reference fixing fluid force 
of my aggressive soul in tomb of truth 
that I am transient flame of consciousness 
which flickers with clock-tick of glowing joy. 

Light of my happiness glows in each house, 
fueled by fraught energy of psychic gloom 
that springs from hollow hunger of my heart, 
so passion of despair nurtures my joy 
to shelter safe in walls of solitude, 
trapped in prison of my fortunate choice. 

I keep the keys of my prisoning home 
in my own pocket, linked with magic ring 
that renders me invisible to Death, 
safe from bitter Pain who stalks city streets 
with vampire thirst for lonely homeless souls 
who haunt light beaming from half-open doors. 

Dropping key to each house where I once lived 
in hand of Fear, still demanding back rent, 
I walk the signless road of everywhere 
past millions of houses in countless towns 
that glow in the dark sea to shining sea 
as I traverse the waste land of despair. 

I never return back down roads I walked, 
never return to houses where I lived, 
for I am always going forward, far 
beyond walls of paradise I escaped, 
housed for a while along the endless way 
of golden opportunity through Hell. 

I write my name and paint my changing face 
with invisible paint on the blank wall 
of this house where I happen to live now, 
which glows as portrait in museum hall 
beside all the other faces of souls 
who also lived in every house I leave.