Walking At My Side

Walking At My Side
© Surazeus
2024 04 14

These bitter tears I shed beside the sea 
when I wake from nap in shade of the tree, 
reliving memory of holding your hand 
as we gather mussels from gleaming sand, 
drown my heart with mute sorrow of despair 
because I cannot find you anywhere. 

Paralyzed in shadow of humming trees 
at gentle caress of the cool spring breeze, 
I stare beyond eternity of hope, 
then stumble in dark rain on mountain slope, 
but when I call your name in gusting wind 
I almost see you just around the bend. 

While gathering mushrooms in windy grove 
I think I see your face in wave-lashed cove, 
but, when I run toward shadow of your being 
at heart-breaking flutter of your white wing, 
I find lightning-struck stump of leafless birch 
that mocks vain effort of my fruitless search. 

Each time I feel you walking at my side 
in steady rhythm with the ocean tide, 
I feel intensive heartbeat of your soul 
so I turn not to maintain calm control 
with ache of love for spirit I adore, 
terrified I will see you nevermore. 

These bitter tears of sorrow I express 
with ache of hope for lasting happiness 
would fill deep ocean with words of my heart 
the longer we wander too far apart, 
so I keep walking circles on the beach 
to embrace you forever out of reach. 

From gloom of dreamless sleep I wake at dawn 
to find you smiling by me on the lawn, 
so I caress your cheek with loving hand 
and whisper shyly that I understand, 
but I cannot quite hear your puzzling words 
that morph into chirping of restless birds. 

Just as I think I clearly see your face 
emerge from vibrant sunlight of someplace, 
I feel your body vanish in dust swirl, 
so I stretch out my aching arms and twirl 
through joyful agony of blind desire 
with haunting tune sung by the faceless choir. 

I hope you call me not the queen of tears 
for I have confidence of countless years 
that I will find you still alive on Earth 
as timeless gleam of sunlight that is worth 
pain of waiting for you to return home 
since only wise Death knows where you now roam.