Absence Of God

Absence Of God
© Surazeus
2023 11 12

Because I can feel the absence of God 
more than its presence in warm beams of light, 
fierce will to live bleeds from deep wound of faith 
to motivate intention of desire 
which resurrects my soul from deep despair 
when I wake healed by energy of hope. 

Inspired to live by the absence of God, 
I follow angsty passion of my heart 
to seek through diversion of mute despair 
rapture of inspiration born from rage 
at meaninglessness chaining me to Earth 
as spirit of light writhing in weak flesh. 

Amazed by joy at the absence of God, 
I perceive through observation of fact 
divine refraction of the holy mind 
that bends elastic curve of cosmic time 
through flashing visions of my dreaming brain 
so I pulse with wild ecstasy of being. 

Confused by fear at the absence of God, 
I ponder process of cause and effect 
where pride transforms good angels into devils 
who fight each other to control rich land 
till humility, formed by pain of loss, 
transforms humans into angels of love. 

Hearing voices at the absence of God, 
I translate ancient song of ocean waves 
to language of statistics that encodes 
technical formulas through surreal dreams 
so I can analyze state of the mind 
based on epiphany of unbelief. 

Muttering prayers in the absence of God, 
when pandering to my audience of fools 
eager to believe in the afterlife, 
I laugh at that terrible fear of death 
that once paralyzed my ecstatic dance 
till I fell in the abyss of my heart. 

Lounging relaxed in the absence of God 
on leafy banks of the indifferent stream, 
I feel my body bloom from seed of light 
as I evolve four hundred million years 
fish to lizard to mouse to cat to ape 
to wingless angel singing by the sea. 

Feeling alive in the absence of God, 
that seems to symbolize all that exists, 
I sit in my quaint home in Spider Wood 
somewhere in landscape of America 
and sing with ache of love that fills my heart 
with atoms beaming from the Cosmic Eye.