Real Me I Always Am

Real Me I Always Am
© Surazeus
2023 08 01

To find success in family and work 
I have to stumble weak in abject failure, 
leaving behind my safe comfortable life 
that traps my soul in walls of paradise 
by leaping over obstacles of faith 
till I transcend despair with urgent hope. 

To dwell in Heaven of creative wealth 
I have to wander lost in the waste land, 
blazing signless trails deep in city maze 
through abandonment of old social norms 
till I design complex rituals of deeds 
that organize well chaos of desire. 

To build my stable home in paradise 
I have to travel in the wilderness, 
erasing doctrines of religious faith 
that bind my hands to perform ancient rites 
which no longer energize me with love 
when I see visions of our better world. 

To win awards for projects I achieve 
I have to lose each treasure I hold dear, 
gambling with fortune to interpret fate 
till I lie exhausted under blind stars 
then rise again from fear to imitate 
architecture of conceptual triumph. 

To achieve calm state of tranquil content 
I have to endure struggle against rage, 
programming progress of constructive work 
by channeling force of intense desire 
that fuels aggressive passion of my heart 
to optimize increase of consciousness. 

To reach high level of mature respect 
I have to fall from steep slope of disdain, 
blundering blind into contentious events 
with awkward awareness of secret truths 
when I sing with inarticulate pride 
about competence of psychic insight. 

To comprehend complexity of truth 
I have to concede illusions of faith, 
dissecting puzzles of global world views 
through strict analysis of fluid facts 
till I note fundamental tenets that sustain 
systemic power frightened people wield. 

To become the real me I always am 
I have to kill eidolon of my soul, 
reshaping weird illusion of my being 
by hiding my true face behind the mask 
that mirrors divine spirit of the star 
which guides strange journey on my road of life.