Soyi Ponders Why

Soyi Ponders Why
© Surazeus
2023 05 04

Clasping hot cup of mocha in cold hands, 
Soyi huddles in old creaky wood chair, 
wrapped in tattered wool blanket and worn boots, 
and gazes out smudged window laced with frost 
at empty meadow by blue sparkling stream 
where snowflakes swirl around bare willow tree. 

Small brass bell tinkles over the wood door 
pushed open by old woman with gray hair 
wearing faded green coat and flower dress 
who browses books of stories on frail shelves 
while Siwoo brews coffee for the grim man 
who stares at open notebook with still pen. 

Sketching each person who comes in the store, 
even after they buy some books and leave, 
Soyi ponders why each stranger she sees 
becomes precious in her heart without words, 
satisfied they have become nameless ghosts 
who remain in the world of her sketchbook. 

Jeweled gecko in glass tank with red eyes 
crawls slowly up dry branch of white driftwood 
to gaze with longing at the empty meadow 
while Soyi peers close at her small white eggs 
and pictures when they were enormous dragons 
crawling huge vines under the silver moon. 

Peering secretly through glass of the tank, 
Soyi watches Siwoo hold stack of books 
while slipping them on shelves with precise hands, 
then opens book of poems by Kim Hyesoon 
to feel frigid vibe of the violin 
become small bird above the frozen river. 

Feeling the world become flat as the mirror, 
Soyi lifts both arms outward like bird wings 
and wonders what it would feel like to fly, 
but hugs herself with sudden awkward shyness 
when she feels as if she falls off the cliff, 
then hides her sweet self-deprecating grin. 

Closing her eyes to sight of swirling snow, 
Soyi remembers twelve summers ago 
when she walked in lush meadow by the river 
with the boy whose shadow has disappeared, 
for though moments of their love melt in rain 
their ghosts linger together in moonlight. 

Hiding her phantom pain wings in her heart, 
while sketching Siwoo holding stack of books, 
Soyi smiles shyly when he looks at her, 
then beams when he refills her cup with mocha, 
and gives her blue feather he found in weeds, 
so she reaches out and touches his cheek.