Drive Myself Toward Destiny

Drive Myself Toward Destiny
© Surazeus
2023 04 28

Floating in mist of the succulent moon, 
I gaze out prism window of the car 
to watch my father Jupiter gleam bright 
with stoic fortitude above the world 
because the gold-eyed owl in the oak tree 
understands feelings I cannot express. 

Gold beams of streetlights flicker on blue glass 
with eerie apprehension piercing me 
that something I desire eludes my grasp 
with slippery solitude of sanguine hope 
that death will not find me on lonely road 
where mushroom toads discuss philosophy. 

How strange to sit so till in moving car 
that zooms far swifter than my feet can walk 
so I travel through time with urgent faith 
that I can find cave of illusions safe 
from faceless monsters hunting city streets 
for I am master of wordless ennui. 

Each moment our car flies on whirling wheels 
faster than even fastest horses run 
I feel assertive force of patient will 
attain restrictive balance of desire 
which maintains forward motion of respect 
to supersede the catastrophic crash. 

I kvetch I always am the passenger 
riding with passive tension of esteem 
this ever-speeding car of my own life, 
hoping someday I exercise free will 
to drive myself toward destiny I choose 
so I can dwell in Heaven I create. 

Yet as my feelings flash across dark clouds 
as silent gleamings, which illuminate 
secret passions that writhe inside my heart, 
I sense impostor syndrome strike my soul 
that all these thoughts are not so genuine, 
sterile cliches that any human fakes. 

I long to be unique and genuine, 
more than another face in teeming crowds 
who wander streets of Pandemonium, 
for I seek garden of my special soul 
in secret paradise of Lazulum 
where we can share sweet pleasure of true love. 

Parking at last before our humble home, 
we emerge from time-machine car with sighs 
and walk together in cool silver mist 
to treasure destiny of love we choose 
safe inside walls of home our hands create, 
happy to evade death another day.