I Forget Who I Am

I Forget Who I Am
© Surazeus
2019 03 01

I forget who I am before I wake 
so I invent new self from ocean salt 
and talk to God, my father in the cloud 
whose face stares down at me from beams of light, 
then I float in pond where fish kiss my eyes 
so I become clear shadow of your heart. 

I stand in nothing of slant morning light 
and become wind that whispers in frail trees 
so if you want to find out where I live 
follow chewed cores of apples on mud shore 
of this small river that already knows 
weird new name I intend to dream today. 

The apple on black tree grows more blood red 
than gold sun that beams through my tender skin, 
illuminating fragile bones of faith 
that sprout invisible wings of desire 
so we can fly together from this town 
where we must invent new names every dawn. 

The black heart of the moon shines in my eye 
to flash awake strange consciousness of rain 
so I paddle small wood boat of bird bones 
on laughing river that mocks how I sing, 
then gives me another name to pretend 
I am important as the bleeding moon. 

I forget who I am before I wake 
so I invent new soul from fractured glass 
of every mirror ever forged from sand 
yet when I tear my face off howling wraith 
I wake from anguish of our river flow 
to know why nothing springs from broken hearts. 

Inside small house of glass on river shore 
in deep valley between high jagged peaks 
I mold new body for my shivering soul 
to rise reborn from ashes of world war 
then look in mirror to see every face 
of every person who gazed in its truth. 

I weave ten billion faces in one face 
so I become omniscient god we dream 
who stands on river shore at dawn of time 
and weaves her visions into neuron cells 
that sparkle in billions of living brains 
though she is now statue in cleansing rains. 

Now that I design new self to be real, 
which I mold from mud of Castalian Spring, 
I stand on street corner and sing your tales 
because immortal mask of my true face 
mirrors your face when you look in my soul 
since we are sparkles of the vast White Whole.